New Mothers Support Groups
When I had my children I was fresh out of nursing school. I worked as a postpartum and nursery nurse in a local hospital. It was a small hospital and did not employ Lactation Consultants. I did not know that such a job description existed. So when I was parenting and nursing my new babies, I winged it like everyone else.
I also had no idea there were support groups for new mothers. I struggled by myself, second-guessing my decisions and feelings. The first time I found support was when my first child was three and we went to a mommy and me class at the local library. I met my soon-to-be best friend there and it was a whole new world!
Having a baby can be isolating without support. Many of us don't even have family that are close enough to come over for the day. And let’s be honest, sometimes family isn’t as helpful as we would like.
We can wonder if we are “doing it right”. Are our babies acting like other babies? When will this phase end? What’s normal? When should we reach out for help for ourselves or our children? We all need a tribe of parents with whom we can connect and share. We need a shoulder to cry on. We need someone to listen to us complain.
“When breastfeeding support only is offered to women, the duration and in particular, the exclusivity of breastfeeding is likely to be increased. Support may also be more effective in reducing the number of women stopping breastfeeding at three to four months compared to later time points” (Gavine, A. et al., 2022)
This is not a surprise. Most of us in this area of the country do not have close role models for breastfeeding. We may not have a mother, aunt, or friend who nursed in front of us. We may lack close friends who are also having children along with us. Humans learn by watching others and talking to others who are doing what they want to do. Support groups can play a key role in meeting this need.
Another research study examined the benefits of attending a new parent group. “Attendance at the New Parent group in this case study provided the mothers with three key opportunities. These three opportunities were to be able to get information / learn about things, to have an opportunity to talk [with other mothers] and gain reassurance, and to have a fixed opportunity [and] something to look forward to each week.” (Guest EM, et al., 2009)
But I don't need studies to convince me that a support group is fun and helpful. I wish I had a place to go with my new babies. I would not have felt so alone.
Search for new parent groups near your home and take a chance and go. It will open up a whole new world. You can get out of your head for a time as well. When I was stuck at home in the cold winter months after having my second baby, it was easy to feel isolated. Having a welcoming place to go can make a big difference.
If you live in our area: Westchester County and Lower Fairfield County, check out our New Mothers Support Group! Gaea Breastfeeding Center is launching our group on March 6th, 2024 at our Harrison location. See the Classes and Group Page for more information. Our group is ideal for babies 0-8 months old. We will chat about breastfeeding, bottle feeding, pumping, formula feeding, introducing solids, back-to-work issues, weaning, and more! We will have guest speakers as well ranging from pelvic floor therapists and doulas to psychologists.
Step out of your door and find your tribe!
~ Cathy Walker, MA, RN, IBCLC
February 28th, 2024
References:
Gavine A, Shinwell SC, Buchanan P, Farre A, Wade A, Lynn F, Marshall J, Cumming SE, Dare S, McFadden A. Support for healthy breastfeeding mothers with healthy term babies. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2022, Issue 10. Art. No.: CD001141. DOI: 10.1002/14651858.CD001141.pub6. Accessed 26 February 2024.
Guest EM, Keatinge DR. The value of new parent groups in child and family health nursing. J Perinat Educ. 2009 Summer;18(3):12-22. doi: 10.1624/105812409X461180. PMID: 20514127; PMCID: PMC2730910. Accessed 26 February 2024.
Don't Feed Your Baby Every Three hours!
You just delivered your beautiful baby and you are breastfeeding. You may be hearing from the people around you to feed your baby every 3 hours. This works out to 8X in 24hr. This is a quick way to run into breastfeeding problems, weight gain issues, and lower milk supply. Most newborns need closer to 10-12 feedings every 24h in the first week. (over time this shifts to 8-12X every 24hr)
Let’s reframe how we think about how newborns eat in the first few weeks of life. Remember that your baby was just inside of your body. They received continuous nourishment and a warm, stable environment. Now they have to do some work to get their food and there are gaps between feedings. They are experiencing cold for the first time and are no longer held constantly by you.
Your baby’s normal frequency of nursing in the first week is every 30 minutes to every 3 hours. So if you recently finished nursing and twenty minutes later, your baby is showing hunger cues or rooting, you should absolutely latch and nurse them. They may simply be hungry again. They may have fallen asleep before they were done nursing and realized they are still hungry. They may be two days old and nursing 3X in a row in a burst of what is sometimes called cluster feeding.
If it has been three hours and your baby is not waking to feed, you should wake them and offer the breast. Most newborns will latch and nurse well even if they were completely asleep a few minutes ago. Holding your baby skin to skin will encourage more nursing and keep them warm. On-demand breastfeeding means that you respond and nurse when your baby asks for milk. This will help you create a robust milk supply. Your baby is telling your breasts how much milk to make in those early weeks. The more you breastfeed, the more milk you will produce. When following on-demand nursing, your milk supply will increase appropriately and your baby will begin to get more each time at the breast leading to more efficient feedings sooner.
Newborns are sleepy and learning to latch. Latching is instinctual and natural and driven by inborn reflexes. But there is also a component of latching that is learned on the baby’s side and the parent’s side. We don’t expect children to learn to ride a bike in one afternoon. We should give ourselves the grace to learn to hold our babies and connect with them in a comfortable latch during that first week.
Sometimes your baby will want to just be held. They will “fuss” and not take the breast but fall asleep when held close or skin-to-skin. Babies need contact with their parents very frequently in the early weeks. You can’t spoil your baby by holding them often or responding to their cries. By holding them, you are ensuring that they know their needs will be met. They know they are safe and cared for. They will become more safely independent when appropriate when they have these strong foundations.
Really think about how many times each day you drink something and eat something. It’s probably not just three times a day. You would never limit yourself if you wanted a drink 30 minutes after lunch. Babies are the same way and eat at a random frequency throughout the day.
Reach out early to an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) if:
Your baby is not eating at least 8X or more each 24hr
Your baby is consistently nursing >12 X every 24hr
You have nipple pain or damage
Your baby has weight gain issues
Your baby is not content after nursing
Your baby is not peeing or pooping enough (By day 6: 6+ urine, 3-4 poops every 24hr)
Yellow poop by day 4-5 of life
*This list is not exhaustive and geared to common concerns in the early weeks. Please reach out anytime you have questions or concerns about your breastfeeding or lactation journey
Cathy Walker, MA, RN, IBCLC
Triple Feeding
Let’s have a conversation about Triple Feeding. Triple feeding is when the parent breastfeeds, bottle-feeds, and completes a pump session all in one feeding event. Does that sound exhausting? It is! Especially if you are doing this with no guidance from an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). Sometimes a temporary course of Triple Feeding that is managed well can be helpful in reaching your breastfeeding goals. It is only recommended when it is truly needed to preserve the breastfeeding relationship.
Why would Triple Feeding be recommended? When your baby is not Effectively removing milk from your breast on a regular basis, we usually consider Triple Feeding as an option. Common reasons that babies have trouble with milk removal are:
Baby is sleepy or less effective at the breast
2. Baby is preterm or a late preterm baby
3. Baby is jaundiced
4. Ineffective suckling pattern at the breast
5. Painful latch or not maintaining latch
If your baby is not getting all the milk they need from your breast by nursing well, your breasts are Missing the message to make enough milk. This leads to a low milk supply. If your baby is not given extra milk from another method, they will not gain weight appropriately leading to even more issues with nursing.
Milk supply is really driven by Supply & Demand. Your baby drives the supply by ‘demanding’ the correct amount of milk when they nurse. This is where the pumping comes in. Your pump takes the place of the baby to build and maintain your milk supply until your baby can take over. (It’s critical to have an effective pump and the correct flange size. This is a topic for another blog post!)
Most of the time when we meet a family who is Triple Feeding, they describe a long process of breast/bottle/pump that usually takes about 80-90 minutes. This leaves everyone, including the baby, exhausted with only maybe an hour to rest before it all starts again. After a thorough lactation assessment, we recommend nursing for as long as the baby is Actively suckling (this is often 5 min or so for many babies with challenges). It's great if the lactating parent can hand the baby over to a helper (a partner maybe) for the bottle session. This should take about 5 minutes per ounce. (if not, this can be maximized by your visit with a lactation consultant experienced with bottle skills). You can then pump for 15 minutes. So in this scenario, we have reduced the feeding cycle time to 25-30 minutes altogether as the bottle can happen while the pumping is in progress.
As your baby starts to become more vigorous, more efficient, or gets back to comfortable latching, your baby will nurse for longer than 5 minutes. But this will mean they are now removing more milk. This will gradually lead to fewer bottles and less pumping!
It’s important to realize that you and your lactation consultant are also simultaneously working on improving at-breast feeding to solve the underlying issue. You are building and maintaining your milk supply throughout this process to facilitate an easier transition to the breast when ready.
If Triple Feeding has been recommended for your family, we recommend trying it for 72 hours. After that time frame, it is a good idea to check in with your Lactation Consultant to see if changes can be made. This is never meant to be a long-term way to feed your baby. For those who find that they need or want to continue this a bit longer, you can consider dropping a nursing session once or twice a day and pump and bottle feed at those sessions. Maybe let your partner handle a whole feeding in this way to get some much-needed rest. In scenarios where Triple Feeding lasts more than 72 hr, adjustments can be made to make it more sustainable.
It’s important to understand that Triple Feeding does not mean the end of your breastfeeding journey. It is only a small part that can be a springboard to success with the right guidance.
We always recommend working with an IBCLC if you are Triple Feeding. We are trained to help your family understand it, manage it and get back to your feeding goals! It's essential to work with an IBCLC to identify the causes of any challenges, address them, and safely transition the baby to the breast if that is the goal. At Gaea Breastfeeding Center, Cathy Walker and Carrie Dean are committed to supporting you in your feeding journey!
~Cathy Walker, MA, RN, IBCLC
January, 2023